Mornington Crescent - Conspiracy Style

This is the archive of the first game played by the Reading Conspiracy, we don't really care for most normal rules but instead use our own variants (in the time honoured manner). Basically, any move goes if it is funny, dubious or just plain legal.

This page is mostly one huge table so you might have to wait a while for it to all load, there are no graphics though so it shouldn't be too much of a drag and it will be worth it in the end.

Alex	First the Rules; Standard Queensbury Rules with no Nid exceptions. The order will be Alex : Edward : Howard etc. A move is made by placing it thus:<your name>: blah blah blah *Paddington Green* blah blah. and placing it in the subject of the mail if they want. A move can be challenged by anyone. If they are right, you miss a go. If you don't make a move 96 hours after you should have done then you miss your go and play passes to the next person. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game #1 - 27/1/99 Alex: Well, that makes it my move and I'll opt for the Olde Worlde opening, *Victoria*, with that, the play passes to Edward. Good luck.
Edward	A cunning move, Mr. Gough. Just a few questions: 1) Are we excluding both primary and secondary Nid exceptions? 2) What about double tabbing? 3) And Naismith's Rule? Assuming not a great deal, my move: South Bank.
Alex	> From: Edward Spurrier <[email protected]> > > A cunning move, Mr. Gough. Just a few questions: > > 1) Are we excluding both primary and secondary Nid > exceptions? Yes, I don't want anyone getting caught in nid. > 2) What about double tabbing? Only when not in Farnham's Doublet > 3) And Naismith's Rule? Never! Fine, now to Howard...
Howard	Edward, to answer your questions, which poses no difficulty even though I am not moderating this game: Q: Are we excluding both primary and secondary Nid exceptions? A: Nid exceptions are total. Q: What about double tabbing? A: How can we have double tabbing when we haven't even opened the first bust to have single tabbing? Q: And Naismith's Rule? A: Don't be stupid. Now onto my move. I'm going to avoid the trap of an early Standard Response and go to Embankment. Howard
Edward	And very cleverly dodged there, Howard, but did you consider the potential for somebody to play a Tertiary Michealis Jump? Hahahahaa
Alex	Well, Edward does ask some silly questions doesn't he. Anyway, I shan't fall for that trap, I have higher morals than that. I think I might instead go with our old friend the moose and opt for *Aldwych*, this is a nasty move for you Edward, as it only opens during the rush hour, ha ha ha ha ha. It is a black art, but it will allow a cup of coffee in somerset house with my mother while I wait and watch you squirm your way out of that one.
Edward	Hahahah! A cunning move on your pat to Aldwych, but you unwittingly told me of a nice little mover.. I'm going to play my Gold Blend card! hahahahaa! and go to.....Tyeburne (or correct spelling thereof).
Alex	A trap so cunning indeed that you fell into it, Tyeburnywurny might cause Howard some trouble so I might just let you do it. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Alex	* This has nothing to do with the game, but it went out anyway * Yes boys and girls, the time has come for me and Howard to gloat our hearts out. You might have better pubs, better unions (of the proper kind), better girls (if you do then why haven't you?), better amounts of work and better ways of making people talk but you have not just danced the TIME WARP with RICHARD O'BRIAN and PATRICIA QUIN singing the lyrics just two yards in front of you. We have, twice. We also touched RoB's bald head and gave PQ a hug. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha long live the rocky horror picture show, long live our parties, long live the first of many gloating emails. Don't you just wish you were us. I do and I am. So there.
Alex	Well, Howard is far too slow to take his move so I'm going to go instead. Of course, it is poss because Edward was being nasty (to the point of flagrantly breaking the rules) tht this happened so I'll be sympathetic to any grumbles before I'm forced to rip your head from your body. Anyway, on to the *Mansion House* and over to Edward (the cheating swine), oh, and happy birthday.
Edward	I'm not a cheating swine, and it may have been a happy birthday. I can't really remember, but it's now lunchtime and I'm both hung over and mildly ratted still. I'm going to Mansion House in a couple of weeks for dinner with the Duke of Edinburgh. First, though, time for a next move... Olympia.
Howard	I've had enough of this pissing about with clever (and highly dubious) moves, so I'm going to Elephant and Castle. Bite me.
Alex	Well you be like that then, I'll just have to go to picca.... actually, that would be suicidal so I won't. Got you going though didn't it. No, I'm going to play the best move in the whole wide world, just to upset Edward mind. Under the spreading chestnut tree I sold you and you sold me; *Pimlico* Isn't life a bitch? (or just a butch?)
Edward	Oh you horrible litle boy. Terrorvision used my bath. And they were b----dy loud last night. I've never been anywhere so packed in my life - if you stood at the front and didn't move a single muscle voluntarily, you'd still bounce up and down. And it would hurt. Anyway, Alex isn't very nice and I'm going to make Howard suffer in revenge. The elevator called me up She said you better start making sense The stone was bleeding Whirling in the waltz I went to see her majesty The court had no suspense She said, "Dream dreams the dreamer" I said, "Victoria"
Howard	Oh great. We're back where we started. My mum could have made a better move than that. Oh well. I'm going to.... .... .... .... .... Holland Park. Bet you weren't expecting that.
Alex	You're right you know, Eddy needs some originality and structure, I almost had to invoke Parson's Passage, but Howard got there first so I'll let it stand. Holland park really has just one worthy move so I'm afraid It'll have to be... *St Jame's Park*, take that you wascally wabbit.
Edward	Hmmm. I think St James's Park to be more than a little dull, as moves go, but it's going to have o be an interesting one from me. Beeep Beeep Beeep Sierpinski's Triangular Move Alert. You fell in to my trap.. the Sierpinski Triad of Holland Park...St J's... and around to *Chelsea Bridge* Have fun, kids.
Howard	You can play with your triangle all you like Eddy, there's nothing to stop me passing water to Richmond. So there.
Edward	What a silly move. Haven'y you considered the potential for a Waterslide Triplet?
Alex	Eddy speaks the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth BUT not all at the same time. For this reason it is clear that his move was legal but also momumentally stupid, instead of setting a trap you have fallen into mine, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. For this reason and this reason alone I consign our Gp Capt Lionel Mandrake to the deepest pit of hell that is...*Monument*, just to show how silly he really is.
Howard	Duh. How can you pass water a second time from Richmond???!
Alex	No, you Duh (me tarzan), you forget that Eddy nicely set me up for just this move by retraversing the initial positional overlay point thereby opening up the freedom of the seas for all who sail in them. Monument it remains.
Edward	Since my email box died yesterday, I've no idea if it's my move or not. So from Monument, I'm going to have to open the bidding for Johnson: *battersea* Have fun, kids.
Edward	Hubs? Is it YOUR turn? Better bally well take it then. Unless it's my go. Yours, Lionel Mandrake Gp Cpt RAF
Howard	Alright, alright, I'll have a go. The only sensible move I can really make is: Golders Green Over to you, Ajax.
Alex	Well it that case, only one option is presented to me. [We interupt this email with a brief section of a Radio Comedy Show] Curly Wurly, Liz Hurly. You've gotta have a system. (applause) Oh look, its our old friend *Finsbury Park* [We apologise for any birth deformaties this may have caused]
Edward	Oooh look, there's Gordon Brown and he's trying to make me less formal by ignoring the dress code. Little slob. *BANK* (just north of Mansion House)
Alex	Cunning move Mr Spurrier, award yourself .375 HHMS points. Mr Brown is a pocket communist, how can you expect him to redistribute wealth (from everybody to himself) and be smart at the same time. Anyway, whats the point of dressing formally, its only done because men haven't the slightest bit of dress sense and must opt into a common image. Maybe he's just showing a bit of INDIVUALITY. He could of course just be a slob. Anyway, its Howard again.
Howard	Fine then. Let's all go to... Kentish Town
Alex	Want to cheer yourself up, just look at what someone last put into your computers clipboard, it could damage seomone's reputation. Secondly, Howard leaves me with very little room for mistakes, a move so erudite I was forced to consult with a fellow (drunken) physicist, we came to the conlusion that *Battersea* was the only move worth making. Both innovative and a little bit waaaaaaaaaaah, a little bit orrrrrrgh, a bit of a geyser you might say. Happy St. Cynicismtines day, you know you love yourself more than anyone else so you might as well save on the postage.
	At this point, the JANET transatlantic link broke, causing our mailing list to go a bit awry, this is the order in which I received moves.
Edward	Oops..is it my go? Or is it Alex's? Who knows? Do I really exist? New Jazz Film: a Milan Kundera aaptation, "The Unbearable Lightness of Bing". And my turn is: Old Kent Road. Just for some excitement. Remember: a tin spoon does not a Parry make. His parents doth a Parry make, but we'd rather not think about that right now. Or ever, for that matter. ¦ ¦ ¦ \ ¦ ----- <----FOOT ¦ \ / ¦ \-----------/ o o \| <---HUMAN FACE --- Artistic talent? Me? naaah.
Howard	Well from Old Kent Road one can only really go to... Tooting Broadway See you soon.
Alex	Don't be so rude, bad boy, dirty boy, in your bed! Well, in that case I must spit in your general direction er you silly inglish kernigit. *Marylebourne* (or however its spelt). tooting bastard.
Howard	Eddy, you clearly have no idea what's going on, and you definitely didn't play your go and thus forfeit it earlier. However, I'm going to show off what a bloody good player I am by playing a move that could have followed either of the last two, by playing... Holland Park Damn I'm good.
Edward	You bastard. It's gonna have to be a silly move now........ *Broadcasting House* (Its a Telecast Exemption)
Edward	I played my go. Perhaps it didn't like me and decided not to send. from there it's got to beeeeee *hammersmith* at least I think that's the move I played.
Edward	Well I'm sure I sent my go. Ah well, a forfeit is a forfeit is a REAL small blue thing from Alpha Centauri. And here endeth my misquotes, with A's go. TCha.
	Janet at its best yet again!
Alex	Well, whatever michael said went wrong caused all sorts of fun. I'll assume that it must be my move now. It seems that we like to revisit places we'd been before, not a good trend I can tell you. Anyway, I'm off to *shepard's bush*
Howard	WHAT are you doing? BROADCASTING HOUSE? Your mum more like. Anyway, to follow up a move that blatantly stupid... Portabello Road
Alex	happy happy joy joy, Parliament square
Edward	Ah well, you've forced me to be boring. Embankment. You deserved that.
	Wait for it!
Howard	YES!!!! Edward makes his third utterly stupid move in a row, allowing me to play... M O R N I N G T O N C R E S C E N T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Suck on that boys!!!! You can challenge all you like, but I think we all know the result! Thank God for Witherspoon's Gambit.
	General Discussion following game.
Edward	You utter bastard. The game had been going on far too long anyway. However, Witherspoon's Gambit wasn't entirely legal - we hadn't broken water, merely double-passed it. I would have had to pass water again. Never mind.
Howard	Puny fool, you broke water by going to Embankment... that's whwat made the whole move possible.
Alex	Of course he did, you are a silly fool Edward. Of course, due to double pauli reexclusions it is good that the game ended when it did, if one more place had been revisited, the game would have reached a critical mass of superimposed move trains causing the end of Mornington Crescent as we know it by sucking in all other games to create one super-dense itterative game.

Anyway, that was the end of the first game, Score Howard 1, other lesser mortals nil.

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